Scudfish

1. Anne-Marie.
2. Sylvester.
3. Theodore.
4. Bubba-Joe.
5. Mommy Dearest.

I’m in your snow, freezing my damned balls off!

I failed to make my father proud.

1. Predatorial protection thing: safety in numbers and flocks?
2. Helping each other with make-up, clothes and leg shaving?
3. Only one of the women will at any time be an expert on stool samples?
4. Pooling all handbag resources will cover anything — even an improvised liposuction?
5. The TV show “L Word” and the use of bathroom stalls is fact?

I think the sign says I’m that way, but I’m not there.

Polish army elite.

1. Yeah… You are hotter than my current girlfriend.
2. I wonder if you are flexible enough to place your feet behind your head?
3. Please God, make her bend over to tie her shoes.
4. Are you fit and sturdy enough to take a mild beating?
5. That one, that one and that one would look great chained and gagged in my dungeon.

I pretend to sleep when my father is shopping for porn.

My mommy has a beard and a penis because she’s special.

1. Subway stinks of urine.
2. Busses stink of urine.
3. Trains stink of urine.
4. Public places stink of urine.
5. Great shopping for Knick Knacks made out of glass.