Scudfish

1. Spatulas.
2. Bowflex.
3. Bowling pin.
4. Time.
5. Jodi Foster (over a kitchen table)

Help! For godsake help me!

His kung-fu doesn’t scare me all that much.

1. Choked on a face-full of krill.
2. Hit by a snowmobile.
3. Stepped on a landmine.
4. Devoured by some Ethiopian dude.
5. Mauled by a polar bear.

Dudes! We wouldn’t need to do this if we were all gay!

We cleverly avoid being eaten by polar bears by living in Antarctica.

1. Rock.
2. Whip.
3. Baseball bat.
4. 2-by-4.
5. Chess.

High-five, little dude! Good job on your McDonald’s Happy Meal.

Eating this crap so that I may crush your skull later on in life.

1. Fork.
2. Barbed wire.
3. Your eyebrow.
4. Lover’s belly button piercing.
5. Grandma’s dentures.