Scudfish

1. The under constant repair streets of New York.
2. The traffic congested streets of New York.
3. The half-eaten bagel littered streets of New York.
4. The over-filled reeking garbage cans streets of New York.
5. The urine smelling streets of NewYork.

My wife enjoys dressing up and sitting on my Poland.

1. The catching the wind.
2. The on your belly Pope greeting.
3. The newly beached whale.
4. The two-day-old roadkill.
5. The crucifix.

I don’t find it erotic at all when odd looking chicks do it.

1. She calls herself “Barbie” even though her business card says “Steve”.
2. She steals a sausage and beer the morning, instead of your wallet.
3. She works on a street that ends in the name “alley”.
4. She gets beauty tips from homeless people and dog groomers.
5. She looses a tooth and looks hotter.

She was a cheap hooker but she knew how to use her front teeth.

1. Distressing.
2. Pitiable.
3. Inane.
4. Hair coloring.
5. Gillette Mach 3.

One day Emo… The next day the world. Let’s stop it before it’s too late!

1. When bringing a face-biting girlfriend to her first real orgasm.
2. When stepping over a crazed pitbull and you are wearing a kilt.
3. When having bloody diarrhoea in shark-infested waters.
4. When grandma has a seizure while grooming your back.
5. When you get to give some payback and anal-probe an alien.

My grandpa taught me a neat trick using only my gums.