Scudfish

My dad’s stupid hat always made me laugh.

Nothing juicier than a fresh McChicken.

1. Master of Ceremonies in Sing Sing prison showers.
2. Master of Disguise in the Borneo rain forest.
3. Master of Suspense in a Chinese fireworks factory.
4. Master of Puppets on the street next to Sesame Street.
5. Master of Persuasion at a Birmingham middle school.

I’m so fucking out of here!

Waddaya lookin at biatch? I smoke as I haz 9 laifs.

1. Everything was black and white back then. Nowadays we have colour — even in giant plasma and LCD flat screen formats, to keep us from doom and gloom.
2. We now have jets and nuclear warships that will quickly take us to any third world country. Bombing something always keeps us busy and it will also stimulate industrial production.
3. Boredom is a thing of the passed with an Xbox 360, Playstation 3 or a Nintendo Wii. Also lest us not forget Family Guy, Seinfeld reruns and Dancing with the Stars on basic cable.
4. Almost all of us are pharmaceutically helped along, one way or another, and therefore have imaginary friends that can lend us extra hands and ears when needed.
5. Britney Spears will still be there to remind us every day that it could be worse even though we don’t have any jobs, money or food — we could be complete messes like her.

Please kiss me, bitch!

Hello. Follow me to the grill. Did I say grill? Krill…

1. Dancing bears.
2. Panting dogs.
3. Lethargic rabbits.
4. Grinning chimpanzees.
5. Disgusting clowns.

It’s ok, ma’am, I know PVR!