Scudfish

1. You can easily suck out their bone marrow when playing Goth fetish games.
2. There’s lots of room when all of you are in the tub, even if you put on a few pounds.
3. When setting up an aquarium, you can use the other one as driftwood.
4. You can bond with Mary-Kate and her bulimia when you are seriously hung over.
5. If you get both twins in bed at the same time, you’ll have a twoandahalfsome.

Did you hear that? What the fuck is it? I think it’s humans…

It’s always uncomfortable getting a hard-on around co-workers, especially if they are more built than you are.

1. Rusty thrashers.
2. Boiling oils.
3. Uranium radiations.
4. Grandpa’s belt sander.
5. Chinese-made toys.

V is for victory… and Visa, viagra and vaginas!

Racing to McDonald’s.

1. Stock market crash Tuesday November 13, 2008.
2. Stock market crash Monday November 12, 2008.
3. Stock market crash Wednesday November 14, 2008.
4. Stock market crash Friday November 16, 2008.
5. Stock market crash Thursday November 15, 2008.

Sitting ducks are very dead!

I love watching my Bulgarian housekeeper work her magic.

1. Darling.
2. Performer.
3. Praireland.
4. Vitalize.
5. Come out.
6. Angel.
7. Get Better.
8. Blinks.
9. Ruck Up (the not so famous one).