Scudfish

1. Popcorn.
2. Chewing gum.
3. Cough drops.
4. Bones.
5. Jack Nicholson’s boners.

George W. Bush also eats pussy.

1. You look better with scurvy.
2. You have worn off the enamel in the toilet.
3. You blow big chunks of meat that could easily be reused at a tailgate party.
4. You get the urge to eat — your dog hides.
5. You consider a bucket from KFC to be palette cleanser.

Got lucky at a garage sale.

1. Hair salon.
2. Bowling alley.
3. Sex shop.
4. Wendy’s burger joint.
5. High school musical memorabilia.

Pssst! I think I crapped in your pouch.

1. The stoned dude that fell in front of the train last night and survived.
2. O.J. Simpson.
3. O.J. Simpson.
4. O.J. Simpson.
5. O.J. Simpson.

That one perfect faucet, which will grab your guests’ attention.

1. Charlotte Corday.
2. Antoine Laurent Lavoisier.
3. Maximilien Marie Isidore de Robespierre.
4. Queen Marie Antoinette.
5. King Louis XVI.

We danced my balls off.