Scudfish

Yes… I’m a fuck head.

1. Be a lover — not a bitch.
2. Learn to do the splits.
3. Only nag for sex.
4. Don’t molest the pool boy.
5. Grill good-sized steaks.

This is my jungle! Find your own, please…

Me and some cool dude and some fat chick.

1. It flies out of Danny Heatley’s car after it hits a tree on Elgin Street, in Ottawa.
2. Toskala and Raycroft get embarrassed because they didn’t steal a game all season, so together they steal The Cup instead.
3. Mayor David Miller asks the league to drive it down the street to shut up whining Leaf fans disturbing the peace.
4. John Ferguson hears rumours of his firing, and threatens to eat all the rookies unless the cup is brought there.
5. Sundin stays injury-free and isn’t traded — and his sack grow three sizes.

I am a cat and I have power… I have speed… I have radical moves… I have lunch!

I didn’t have a six-pack but I had a bottle of wine.

1. Puzzle that takes more than 14 seconds for a slow-witted 3-year-old to complete.
2. Bobble head that actually boobles.
3. Fold-out fake beard made out of real beards.
4. Vile of Easter Bunny pheromones.
5. Good quality Pogo stick.

I can hardly believe it… You were not full of shit this time!

I devoted my whole life to rescuing retarded pokemons.