Scudfish

I had the grace of a wrestler but the heart of a ballerina.

1. Horrible stench…
2. Deadly design…
3. Inferior craftsmanship…
4. Catastrophic malfunctions…
5. Buy Japanese…

She won’t care that you are a dog if her name is Bambi.

1. Two nurses spanking each other while covered in mayonnaise.
2. A proctologist with small hands.
3. Pimped up Ford Focus station wagon.
4. A beautiful looking turkey not in the oven.
5. Sexy skin condition.

10 minues to blow it up — a lifetime of flexible enjoyment.

1. Feeding aquarium fish.
2. Single malt whiskey.
3. Watching Family Guy marathons.
4. Buying Charlize Theron posters.
5. Beef.

A banana is a close second.

1. Anacondas.
2. Frogs.
3. Lizards.
4. Birds.
5. Very wet furry monkeys.

I had a lot of personality but it didn’t help with the chicks.

1. Skin — Only eat cashews in bulk and bacon wrapped meatballs.
2. Hair — Get haircuts at the Salvation Army and wash it using industrial hand soap.
3. Speech — Speak in rap rhyme only.
4. Clothes — Dress like you are going camping.
5. Perfume — Use illegally imported Chinese hot sauces.