Lies that your ex-girlfriend has made up about you
- He was a good enough lover despite being hung like a toy poodle.
- He preferred using my lady shaver when removing hair from his feet and back.
- He was wet nursed by his grandmother until he was 12.
- He would when slow-dancing always insist on being called “Erica”.
- He always very carefully examined his handkerchief after blowing his nose.
- He always sat down when going pee because his penis scared him.
- He had this secret fetish about being spanked with rhubarb.
- He talks in his sleep, and always about how much he enjoys milking koalas.
- He got great satisfaction from secretly using other people’s toothbrushes.
- He would when passing gas, always say, “good one!”
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