Scudfish

1. Mr. Spaghetti face (or simply some kid with a horrible skin condition).
2. Superman with a Spiderman mask.
3. A wolf or a cross-dresser (a boy wearing his moms fur coat).
4. Urine stained ghost.
5. I little girl that looked like a mini Jay Leno wearing a Batman outfit.

1. Predatorial protection thing: safety in numbers and flocks?
2. Helping each other with make-up, clothes and leg shaving?
3. Only one of the women will at any time be an expert on stool samples?
4. Pooling all handbag resources will cover anything — even an improvised liposuction?
5. The TV show “L Word” and the use of bathroom stalls is fact?

My name is Nick — I eat children.

1. Spatulas.
2. Jolly Roger flags.
3. Horse radish.
4. Bowling balls.
5. Star Trek reruns.

It takes years of practice to be truly seductive.

1. Riding (a dead horse).
2. Hunting (republicans).
3. Dating (your sister).
4. Stealing (from Winona Ryder).
5. Puking (in someone else’s Porsche).

UPS kicks ass.

1. They day after you did a back-up (1%).
2. About a week since your last back-up (7%).
3. On the day you completed a website design (12%).
4. When your mother-in-law checks her Gmail (23%).
5. On the day you planned to do a backup (68%).

I didn’t get laid very often, soI just hung around with my friends.

1. I don’t give a fuck when and if you go to the bathroom!
2. Dunbar states that you can only care for 150 people — why waste a digit on you?
3. I’ll simply use Google if I want to look at photographs of grinning imbeciles!
4. People you have never heard of taking the time to wish you happy birthday is simply pathetic!
5. You only become a real friend when you help me repair something around the house!