Scudfish

Excuse me! Ok… I’m inside the bitch… Now what?

My boyfriend taught me that there are no taste buds in my throat.

1. Inside a tuba.
2. On a piece of toast.
3. Beside a sign that says “No entry!”
4. Under a dead rhino.
5. In some guy’s hand.

Master retards miss the obvious…

I especially loved her gums.

1. Housetrained Wookie.
2. Princess Leia’s hair buns.
3. Operational Death Star.
4. Mint condition and fully functional Lightsaber, with a car charger.
5. Jar Jar Bink’s brains in a jar.

Easy now, big guy! Sorry I ate your cookie, thermos and sister… Ok?

Never leave home without a spare one.

1. Rub yourself all over with a smoked mackerel and swim around like a wounded seal pup.
2. Serenade the ocean using 1980’s power ballads, without throwing up and polluting the water.
3. Catch her uncle, the giant haddock, and hold him ransom.
4. Eat a huge bowl of chilli and pretend to be part of an oil slick.
5. Put a big fat piece of kielbasa in your butt; swim on your back while pretending to be a beluga whale looking for a mate.

Help? I did a really stupid mistake!