Scudfish

1. While cracking jokes — does he realize that being insanely coked up doesn’t necessarily equal “funny”?
2. Which leprechauns did he fellate to gain his dumb luck?
3. When will he go back doing what he does best: being tall?
4. What did Satan get apart from his rotten soul and compulsive hand-clapping?
5. Where did he hide the bodies he backstabbed and climbed over?
6. Who did he spread his cheeks to, in order to land the gig in the first place?
7. Why the f**k does he still have a TV show?

I’ll tell you my secrets.

The perfect woman: no brains, no talk and plastic boobs.

1. There are red rocks there, which are more interesting than plain gray Moon rocks.
2. Finally show the nut balls that Martians would never bite an astronaut’s head off and suck marrow from his or her neck, when they can do it discreetly, through the spine.
3. They are running out of space shuttles — better send one off before the last one breaks apart and crashes in to innocent taxpayers.
4. Amazing fringe inventions from the mission: super absorbent diapers and 500-gallon spittoons.
5. Because a woman saying: “That’s one small step for (a) woman, one giant leap for womankind” just doesn’t sound right.

God… Lord… And Holy Spirit… Father of Jesus Christ… I am comming!

Nooooooooo!

1. Rasputin.
2. Ebenezer.
3. Sting.
4. Dunchad.
5. George.

Disturbances in the force… I sense them too.

I believe her name was Princess Fiona.

1. Hosted by this sick guy named Tim Henson.
2. Content is grossly sick: babies in microwave ovens, people taking things, and animals chewing on things…
3. He communicates with the real, evil, and indestructibly-sick Devil!
4. Sickly unnatural, hair-raising voice of someone that could sell you raccoon cold cuts or a bamboo love doll.
5. Tuesdays are sicker than a leper with Ebola!

Rating: Mai Deck Ezzz Hoooad!