Scudfish

Drinks breast milk and shits in diapers while on plastic dogs seeks SWF.

1. Annie’s needlepoint and scrapbooking emporium.
2. Glues and tapes of the world.
3. Vintage boy band t-shirts and other gay collectibles.
4. Brew your own iced tea and napalm.
5. Moonshine, meth and mobile homes.

Soiled panties… I have a pair!

I don’t like skip roping. I like cake — and cake.

1. I wish I could eat a hamburger when as drunk as David Hasselhoff.
2. I wish I could travel the world shopping, and finding just the “right look” of a baby, to complement my collection, as Angelina Jolie does.
3. I wish I could make people swallow back vomit by simply being a moron like “The View’s” Elisabeth Hasselbeck.
4. I wish I could take a dump in the back of a $200,000 limo without any performance anxiety, like Paris Hilton.
5. I wish I could produce enough spit to make the same hairdo as used by Donald Trump.

The day before I became a hat.

Don’t mind me — I’ll just slide a little bit.

1. I’m so drunk.
2. I’m so ready to take your Porsche for a spin.
3. I’m so in to smoking that shit.
4. I’m so going to put you in a nursing home.
5. I’m so pregnant.

Being retarded with a bull hurts like a son of a bitch!

Happy bride — freakin’ ecstatic groom.