Scudfish

1. Bacon grease stained Metallica t-shirt.
2. Hat that you wiped yourself with after watching two moose mating.
3. Sneakers that your neighbor’s pitbull has frequently peed on.
4. That really cool WW II flight jacket that your grandpa died in his sleep in.
5. Lip gloss that tastes like blueberries.

Mickey — Slut — Slut’s mother — Mickey…

1. Pulling the white wire will start a faint buzzing sound, which isn’t very easy to ignore.
2. Cutting the black wire will make some mechanical mechanism change position — possibly arming the bomb. If something moves: get ready to jam it with a stick from a lollipop, some bubble gum or a metallic candy wrapper.
3. Snipping the red wire isn’t very easy to do if you are colorblind… If you are suffering from vision problems: the best way to find the red wire is to randomly grab one… Whichever wire you grab will be red: simply cut it! Nothing will happen anyway, unless you also cut the green and orange wire later on.
4. Clipping the blue will make the LED display start going tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock… Simply ignore…
5. Extracting the battery will make the LED display count down faster, and can now only be stopped by ripping out a random cluster of wires when the time says, 00:00:01.

Tough guys don’t dance — ever.

1. Limping Dachshund.
2. Giggling Buffalo.
3. Beaver Two-Face.
4. Manically Dancing Moose.
5. Big Deer Tick.

Puppy always makes me sleepy.

1. Love the way your arms are of the same length.
2. Love the way you are able to walk with a minimal wobble.
3. Love the way you sit without standing up too much.
4. Love the way your hair doesn’t cover your whole face.
5. Love the way you don’t block the sun too much.

I have seen the end of Lost and it sucked.

1. More woman in every player than in the men’s league!
2. We don’t coke up and rape people like our male counterparts!
3. Shaquille O’Neil’s free-throw average would suck in our league too!
4. Come and check out our token white player too!
5. Less balls on the court makes for a more interesting game to watch!

As a kid I often used to get stuck in elevator doors and crap.