Scudfish

1. Burning all kinds of garbage in the backyard. (Age 6)
2. Burning ants and spiders with a magnifying glass. (Age 10)
3. Burning holes in shirts when learning to smoke. (Age 14)
4. Burning money on printed filth and depravity. (Age 16)
5. Burning food after moving in to your own place. (Age 18)
6. Burning calories by walking between bars and strip joints. (Age 21)
7. Burning the sheets after your honeymoon. (Age 29)
8. Burning the midnight oil at work for a boss who doesn’t give a shit. (Age 30)
9. Burning expensive cuts of meat on the BBQ for “acquaintances”. (Age 35)
10. Burning that piece of crap Ford minivan for insurance money. (Age 45)
11. Burning half the nest egg on a brand new Harley. (Age 50)
12. Burning ass after every meal with any kind of spices in it. (Age 53)
13. Burning a match in the bathroom after every visit. (Age 55)
14. Burning the remains of your nagging wife at the summer cottage. (Age 63)
15. Burning all kinds of garbage in the backyard. (Age 65+)

Confidence - You will never be like Charlize Theron no matter how much you drink of it.

Even retarded sub 4-pound dogs are cute.