Scudfish

The guy that kicked your ass in Guitar Hero online.

1. Squirrels become more active and more of a challenge to hit with a pinecone.
2. Topless sunbathing by our neighbor who thinks she becomes invisible when she puts a towel over her face.
3. Fun games in the garden - trying to remember what we planted last year, and what are weeds.
4. Snow thaws and reveals all the cool stuff that people have lost when slipping on our front stairs.
5. Don’t need to wear that sweat soaked and almost crunchy toque any more.

Quebec women - They will literally do anything for beer and smokes.

Plastic is cheap and makes things perfect.

1. My own downstairs bathroom — For all the Bathroom Readers’ books and the Entertainment Weekly magazines.
2. Grandma and grandpa’s bathroom — For the beautiful nature view out the window… If you have to go in the early morning, you might catch a few deer doing exactly what you are doing.
3. Mike and Giselle’s bathroom — For all the wonderful aromas from the dried flowers and herbs.
4. My friend Al’s — For the Playstation 2, beer fridge and the huge Baywatch poster on the wall.
5. Fairview mall’s family bathroom — For the acoustics.

Sunglasses - They could make your girlfriend look awesome.

It’s not gay if it’s in black and white — it’s art.

1. Getting a “woody” just before being asked to go up the blackboard to solve a math problem for a 64-year-old math teacher named Helmut.
2. Being called on the fact that you are only missing the checks on that cute, big-bosomed girl with the pigtails, while playing basketball in gym class.
3. Slapping the ass of the girl with the “I’m a whore” tank top, only to realize that the writing was just some sort of weird “fashion statement”.
4. Having that really hot, nice smelling and curved English substitute teacher bend all over you to help you with your spelling, and then you find yourself accidentally moaning very audible, “Ahhh’s… Ohhh’s… and Mmmm’s…”
5. Being stoned out of your mind and being called in to the principals office for smoking a “cigarette” on school grounds, and then end up drooling all over yourself staring at the plate of shortbread cookies on his desk.

Stay positive - She is still tight and the baby will not be here for another four months.

My girlfriend was all legs and I loved it.