Scudfish

E-meter — Used in Scientology to measure the level of E in imbecile.

The task of the maid of honor is to satisfy the needs of the bride.

1. In 1957 his record company wanted him to change his name to Pelvis Resley.
2. He made it a point to spend all his earnings from “Hound Dog” on bananas, peanut butter and ammunition.
3. It is estimated that Elvis Presley’s lifetime shavings of sideburns could cover the Eiffel Tower three times over.
4. The Elvis movie Blue Hawaii is often used as an alternative to beatings in Turkish, Moroccan and Algerian prisons.
5. In Las Vegas he was called (the) “whale”… Later that title also came to be used for big time gamblers, as well as for other well-over-the-hill fat performers.

Beach volleyball — This is why it is more popular than curling.

As conjoied twins, Mary-Kate could easily lick Ashley’s back.

1. Donald Trump — Harp.
2. George W. Bush — Cymbals.
3. Rosie O’Donnell — Tuba.
4. Britney Spears — Flute.
5. Kirstie Alley — Violin.
6. Barbara Walters — Banjo.
7. Jim Carrey — Harmonica.
8. Paris Hilton — Bagpipe.
9. Angelina Jolie — Trumpet.
10. Courtney Love — Maracas.

Sensuality — You can make some on your own using bubbles.

They used hands instead of puking for hangovers in the 50’s.

1. Internal temperature of pork loin when done — 160 F. degrees.
2. Alternative uses for a sombrero — Bird feeder, planter and gift basket.
3. Celebrities that most often don’t wear any underwear — Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Madonna, Paris Hilton and Kiefer Sutherland.
4. How to spell fushia — Fuchsia, fuschia or alternatively: pink.
5. Who invented Polyklingon rubber — Surprisingly not invented yet!

Wangsta — Takes care of your weed problem with a lawn mower.