Scudfish

1. Angry pet head — Curses loudly in Polish when shot with a BB gun.
2. Clean pet foot — Does dolphin tricks and feeds on my brother’s aquarium fish.
3. Soft pet hand — Especially nice to me in the bath and at bedtime.
4. Huge pet butt — Farts on command and isn’t afraid of fire.
5. Hairy pet back — Morphs in to Chewbacca whenever I want to play Star Wars.

Soon to be a smooth pussy.

1. Schoolgirl with unshaven legs and a 20 inch green Mohawk.
2. Pizza delivery guy with a limp and strange skin disorder.
3. Disease-ridden Indian panhandler.
4. Nurse with a beard and steel-tipped boots.
5. Village idiot who throws feces on anyone who makes a startling sound.

We demand virgins before out afterlives.

1. Dreaming Of Meat. (1981)
2. New Wife. (1981)
3. Just Can’t Get Eunuch. (1981)
4. See Jew. (1982)
5. The Meaning Of “Low-Carb”. (1982)
6. Leave In Slices. (1982)
7. Get The Balance Bite. (1983)
8. Everything Cunts. (1983)
9. People Are Sheep. (1984)
10. Master And Cervix. (1984)
11. Blasphemous Humour. (1984)
12. Some Booby. (1984)
13. Shake The Sneeze. (1985)
14. It’s Called A Fart. (1985)

Food court salute.

1. Sony will get another excuse to further delay its Playstation 3.
2. South Korean carmakers won’t have the time to properly tighten every third nut any more.
3. Dick Cheney will insist on getting his shotgun back.
4. Availability of North Korean hardcore porn will rapidly dwindle.
5. George W. Bush will have to learn how to pronounce: “Pyongyang”.

Yes: “I”?

1. Secretly Take A Dump On A Colleague’s Desk Day.
2. Pour A Laxative In Your Secretary’s Coffee Day.
3. Epoxy Horns And A Tail On Your Boss While He Or She Is Napping Day.
4. Shave The Eyebrows Off The Lazy Bastard Day.
5. Scratch All The BMWs On The Employee Parking Lot Day.

Joy can also be a lovely plastic bucket.