Life changing realizations about women and dating
- Women are not so bad once you the humongous monkey called “virginity” off your back. Most of them are actually quite pleasant, and when you have dated one for a while, you will only get spanked if you first do something extraordinarily nice for her.
- Getting handcuffed and whipped senseless is probably the easiest courtship you will ever have to endure. A pair of burning buttocks is much less painful than hours of mindless small talk in a smelly bar.
- When having an affair with someone at the office: tidy the stock room before any romantic encounters! Sitting down on a staple gun is extremely painful, so is removing packing tape from a hairy back, and untangling paperclips from furry sensitive areas.
- Wear lederhosen if romantic encounters in public places are your thing! This garment will come off and on very quickly, and have over centuries been proven very successful in Europe and Central Asia.
- Finally a tip for guys suffering from PE (Premature Ejaculation): focus on something horrific, such as pink ponies being napalmed while snoozing in a beautiful pasture. Scenes like this should make any guy last long enough to satisfy even the most demanding woman, unless he is a complete psychopath.
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