Scudfish

1. “This program features language that might be inappropriate for younger viewers.”
2. “This program presents views and opinions that might be disturbing to some viewers.”
3. “This program contains mature subject matter… Viewer discretion is advised.”
4. “This program will show scenes with nudity, sexuality and coarse language — people of ‘The Christen Right’ might have a hissy fit.”
5. “It’s two o’clock in the morning… Just the fact you are tuning in to read this disclaimer shows that you are interested in the filth and depravity that we are about to broadcast — don’t bother complaining; our switchboard is closed!”

Excited about edible pokemons to go.

1. Square.
2. Rectangle.
3. Circle.
4. Triangle.
5. Octagon.

Life and diapers stinks less with tequila.

1. Slice of Pizza Hut Meatlover’s pizza.
2. Cannoli.
3. Apple pie.
4. Pieces of fruit — in Sangria.
5. Schrooms.

The miracle of boiling water.

1. Make cups that are difficult to balance by cutting balls in half and give them to your enemies.
2. Place a ball on the couch to sit on and pretend that someone is happy to see you.
3. Fill a sock with a few balls and subject yourself to mild police brutality by hitting yourself on the back with it.
4. Start a feeding frenzy by soaking one in bacon grease and tossing it in to a dog run.
5. Shove two balls under your shirt and go shoplifting while pretending to be Winona Ryder.

Deep and scary goth man-purse.

1. Glock — “Cuddly Rabbit”.
2. Beretta — “Rainbow River”.
3. Kalashnikov — “Sugar Top”.
4. Uzi — “Orange Blossom”.
5. Desert Eagle — “Cinnamon Fantasy”.

They mistakenly thought we were covered in chocolate.